After coming to the realization that I had a bad relationship with the word woman, I had to really go deep and explore what about a woman was so bad within my belief system. And to my surprise, it was a lot worse than I thought.
I won’t speak of all of the points I found here, I will just focus on one.
Some of the beliefs I found were:
- Women don’t need men
- Women are looked down on
- Women aren’t good enough
- Women are less than men
- Women cannot succeed like men do
- Women cannot succeed on their own
- Women have no power
- Being a woman is hard
- Being a mother is hard
I could say that only I think this way, that I am traumatized, and there must be something really wrong with me. But after much research and really processing what each of those statements meant, where they came from, and how it shaped my thoughts. I realized; majority of women feel the same way. What is worse is that we walk around every day carrying these beliefs without even knowing or being completely aware that the decisions, thoughts, and actions we take in every breath are led by these beliefs.
They happen to be so deeply embedded and socially justified that it is almost impossible to recognize them for what they are.
In order for me to find these beliefs within me I had to use specific tools that supported me in being self-honest. Because let’s be honest here, to admit that I have all these beliefs takes a lot of self- honesty, it takes going through and being able to see it for what it is, not for how it makes me feel.
It is the feelings attached to these beliefs that will hold us hostage, it is the feelings we place behind the beliefs that keep us in a perpetual hamster wheel.
So I began to break each of these down, because once I was able to identify them, now I had to correct them.
I had to find the root, I had to find the culprit behind it all. And after processing it all with the tools. There it was- I rejected being a woman. I mean think about it, why would I want to be a woman if they have no power, if they are less than men, if I will never succeed like men, if I am constantly being looked down on, and will never be good enough. No sir, I do not want that!
I mean who would? Seriously?
But where did it come from? How did I come to believe such things? Who, what, when, where did it all come together and created this deeply rooted program within my core belief system
So in the first video I discussed my primary educators, but now let’s discuss the environment. Because its not just up to the primary educators when other forces are involved.
Every movie during my childhood always portrayed a woman being weak, a woman being abused, a woman being less than, and only being able to have a happy ending only by being rescued by a man. Through great marketing, women have forever been made to believe that we must become better than men or we will be less than. And that can only be measured by the amount of power we hold.
Unfortunately for me, I was born in the transition era. Where the marketing ramped up and went from one extreme to the other. We went from the weak and victimhood of women, to become better and tougher than men- to what socially defined as – Equality. But as I investigated, honestly is just the other side of the same coin. All leads to inequality between the man and the woman. Which both sides are manipulated by the same hand.
So, the only thing left to do if I rejected being a woman … was to become a man. Problem is, I couldn’t become a man, because I am a woman. And no matter how hard I tried; I am a woman. So, if I reject being a woman, and I cannot be the opposite gender, then what was left?
Well, as I walked this journey, I came to the realization that I hated men, and on top of it I also hated myself. I hated men because I was programmed to believe that they were better, and I hated myself because I was never going to be them. (Hateful women is a whole new video, more on that later)
Again, not like anyone walks around saying these things, not like people consciously understand why they cannot get along with their spouses, why divorce rates are so high, it’s not like people consciously understand the urge as a woman to drop a child with six weeks of being born in a daycare because they have to be “equal” to men, or in other words – be the man. It’s not like women walk around self-honestly understanding why they blame men for everything that goes wrong in this world.
But to be able to walk yourself self-honestly defining your beliefs, and truly comprehending what they are, and where they come from, can stop the tornado that all of this creates.
The only things all of these beliefs create in the end within us as women, is to be in survival mode forever. And that is not living, is not creating.
Always competing against men, always comparing ourselves with men, always seeing where we can beat them, where we can be better than them. Because of the pain and suffering they have caused us.
But let’s break that down. This pain was created by a program, a belief that was created by a perspective given to us to belief as truth. Because a harmonious relationship between men and women- IS UNBREAKABLE.
And so I did what I knew was best. To use the tools I had that I knew could support me in breaking through these programs and really seeing the world for what it was.
If I really wanted to have a healthy relationship with my daughter, and a healthy relationship with my husband. I had to transcend these points. All I was doing without me knowing was teaching my daughter to do the same thing, therefore creating more of what I was trying to avoid doing.
I had to take responsibility for my own programming. Blaming others will not fix the problem from the root. Facing faith in external powers was not going to fix the problem from the root. I had to take full responsibility.
Because here is the truth of life. We need men and women. The world that we live in is a result of what collectively lives in our mind/thoughts. We are constantly projecting onto the world what is secret in our minds.
I knew that in order to change this program, I had to transcend the points that were created. Not justifying, not making excuses, which believe me it is so easy to do. Because there is so much support that pushes us today as women to hate men, to hate being a woman, to dislike who we are and constantly belittle ourselves and through our own thoughts take our own power away.
And after walking this specific point. I began to see everything differently. I began to remember all the moments in which I have made decisions based on fear because I felt that I was losing all control by being a woman. I remember the moments in which I felt I wasn’t good enough because I wasn’t like men.
And then it hit me, something so simple but yet so profound. I don’t have to be like a man. My power is being a woman. My power is being the wife my husband needs and the mother my daughter needs. You see, when a woman is stable, the home is stable, the children are stable, the men thrive, the family grows together as one. It is a science that is simple.
But that hasn’t been taught, most children today belong to broken marriages and have never experienced what having a stable home with mother and father looks like.
The recipe is simple, but all of these programs that translate into actions make the relationships between men and women hard. The beliefs that are dictating our every actions are the ones destroying the essence of the woman.
And after really understanding and comprehending this, I began to thrive in my home. I began to understand why making home cooked meals is best, why staying home and raising and educating my child is best, why I must be emotionally stable within myself so I can support my home. I began to understand the power we hold as women.
That doesn’t mean I bow to my husband, that’s a belief. That doesn’t mean I am not contributing anything when I stay home, that’s a belief. That doesn’t mean I am not equal to my husband because I don’t bring money to the house, that’s a belief. That doesn’t mean I am a slave because I cook and clean, that’s a belief
What it does mean is that processing information for what it truly is, instead of processing emotions and feelings based on experiences and calling that true knowledge, is what will bring the essence of being a woman back.
Is looking at ourselves individually as the self in our own programming and rewriting it, so that mothers can’t stop creating more girls who don’t want to be women and hate men.
I commit myself to walk this life as a woman, will you?
