For the last year I have been walking through a point that has given my life a 360 turn. It has changed the way in which I view myself and those around me.
I will be sharing a series of blogs and videos of the points that I have walked and how I have been supported by an amazing community of people who are committed to do what is best for all.
Have you ever wondered what relationship you hold with the alphabet? All 26 symbols? I met someone who had a bad relationship with the letter N. That’s because she had a hard time with the word NO. Saying No to others was hard. We don’t really think much about letters, we know it’s something that we learn in the first years of our lives, but have you ever thought about your relationship to each letter? Probably not.
You see, words are composed of these letters, and when we have a negative relationship or experience with them, we tend to attach those experiences to the definition of these symbols which we pay little attention to. And overtime, we build resistances, coping mechanisms, and avoidance to them.
That was my case, I would have never in a million years figured it out if it wasn’t because I was working with a one of a kind technology I use to support my daughter to learn vocabulary.
It all started when she was having a really hard time learning any word that started with the letter W. Every word that she would learn she would have it down in a week or less, yet the words that started with W were taking her a month or two.
How could this happen? She was getting everything else right…
What was so important about these words? Why were they so hard to learn? with no insight of where to begin, I reached out to a friend who also uses this one of a kind technology and is part of an amazing supportive community and told him what was happening. Maybe he could give me a perspective of what I may have been doing wrong.
In this brief conversation, he shared with me very insightful information. After running through the technical aspects of using this technology, dotting the i’s and crossing the T’s. He says to me “you know, this week I read an article that talked about how people usually relate the letter W to women, specifically the breast and the nurturing of the mother”. And just like that, a door open within my mind. Information began to rush in and memories began to flow. It was the most insightful sentence I had ever heard.
What does it all mean? What were the memories? Everything was clear right in front of me. I finally saw this huge obstacle that was in front of me…. And what was even more clear was that I was teaching my daughter to have the same obstacle.
I began to put all the pieces together, and finally the whole thing was looking right at me.
My relationship to the word Woman was disastrous, it was unhealthy, it was nothing remotely of what I had led myself to believe all these years.
And so, the journey began. I started breaking my life down from the very core, and to do that I had to go back to the basics; the beginning.
What was my primary relationship to the word woman? how did it affect me? how has this relationship impacted and shaped my life so far? and how did I relate to all of this?
I used this one of a kind technology to redefine all the words that were directly related to Woman. After, I began to look into my relationship with my mother, and her relationship with her mother, and my grandmother’s relationship with her mother. As well as their relationship with Men.
You see, they were my first educators. Those three individuals raised me. I watched them over and over again. I absorbed everything, including their relationship with themselves as women.
All three of them were divorced and single, all three of them had a negative relationship to their male partners. And this does not mean they were terrible educators, it meant they had their own programming they lived through, and I just copied it in my first years of life.
As I grew up, subconsciously I stored within my hard drive what a woman was; based on their teachings.
I will expand on the outer contributions from other environments and influences in blogs to come. We are only at the beginning.
There is a coping mechanism that is created within us as a safety trigger, so we don’t have to “experience” what we call pain and suffering. To avoid feeling things that don’t make us feel good… or is it things we don’t comprehend and understand?
So, in understanding what they had lived and the consequences they had created within themselves, I was able to use those to now look into my life and see where I had been applying them within me and my experiences as a woman as well with men.
And there it was, it all began to come to light. I had one divorce under my belt, I was intimidated by men, and my relationship with what I defined as “nurturing” was of disgust, those women were weak.
Well, I asked myself “what do you mean “THOSE WOMEN”, OOOHHH I see, I define being a woman as being weak, as less than men, as these submissive creatures who are worthless. But wait, that meant that I truly in self-honesty defined who I was as all of those things since I AM a woman. And it takes A LOT of self-honesty to come up this this and walk through these points and cross over without getting stuck on the victim mentality.
And so, now I am faced with a whole lot of self-realization to comprehend, process, and understand. This took time of course.
I began to see the changes in my life, and the best part was that in no time it too supported my daughter to begin to process the words that started with W easily and effortlessly.
Imagine the impact that these symbols called letters that then build the words that you use to express yourself have on the way that you learn, carry yourself, behave, respond to things in your every day life.
Makes you now think of ALL of the words you have learned….. And your relationship to them.
All of this self-realization only opened more things, and I will share more on the next one. Stay tuned!
